Starting Over

I am a person who loves to start over. If I fail, I start anew. Or I start something new altogether! I love starting a new relationship with a friend. The "getting to know each other stage". To find the things we have in common and laugh. And it has happened a few times in my lifetime, but I've managed to have long-term friends who we keep laughing and discovering together. That is something else I love in life, but this blog is about new things and starting over.

I sometimes do feel guilty about starting over. And as a stay at home mom and business owner, I need to let myself off the hook if I'm not sticking with something that used to work but now it doesn't. Throw it away and start over! That should be my mantra.

For the past year and few months, when my son was one year old, I ventured out and began a Beachbody business because I love working out and I'm passionate about it. And that first year was the most work I'd ever done in my whole life. I was all over the map. I had a blog, a Facebook page, and other social media I was spending countless of time investing in, for my marketing strategies in my business. And I loved making new relationships. People in my organization said I was a go-getter, and I was going places. And I'd lost 60 pounds in my son's first year of life. I had so much to be proud of and look forward to!

A few months ago when my son was about 19 months old, my life changed drastically. My son was not okay with just exploring the house anymore. He needed quality time with me. And I wanted it with him badly as well. At that exact same time I lost about half of my Beachbody networking business downline and it was a blessing because I didn't have the time to invest in them. I had to make a choice: work, or my son.

A lot of people gave me their opinions- and I asked for some of them. I could keep going hard-core and make tons of money! Or I could dial it back and spend time with Eli. I decided to start teaching Eli the alphabet and it was so fun. We spent hours just cuddling and eating food together at meal times. He was becoming more mature, not just a baby anymore. I wanted to create the home for him that I would have wanted as a child. A place to have memories with home-cooked meals, laughter, reading, playing. Relationship. So I chose him over my job. And I could do that, and I feel blessed. I started over with my son and I don't have any regrets about that!

My biggest regret right now it losing all of the hard work I put into my Beachbody business. I am still a coach. I still want to make relationships and help people. I can't view it as a loss. I learned so much about business, myself, how to manage time, how to be a better friend, leader, motivator. And I learned the do's and don'ts about social media (okay, I'll admit I am not perfect in that arena) and I and still want to help people. Will I be super rich by choosing to raise my baby and not choose to go crazy on my business? Maybe not, but I know that I always can pick back up when the time is right. I still am an individual person in this life with a lot to offer, not just being a mom. I have my own desires as a woman and a human being, and I feel blessed that I live in a time where I can be someone more at another time. And my son sits next to me now, pretend-typing on his laptop next to me. He is so precious.

I am pregnant with baby #2 (Zoe Jane), and cannot wait to bring her into this world and be her friend and gracious leader in life. I am starting over and giving myself grace to just be a mom right now, and find comfort in knowing that I am enough :)

Jess