If there are any moms out there that need some confidence
building, support, and guidance, then this blog is for you. Let’s talk about some
of the main issues you could be facing right now as a mom of young children. You:
- Don’t feel pretty enough (not measuring up to
those fitness models on IG)
- Don’t feel secure in your parenting abilities
- Had massive weight gain
- Are isolated at home
- Have to work outside the home, and you’re
missing your kids
- Yell at your kids, or your kids aren’t
behaving well
- Your house looks like it barfed up 17 loads of
laundry
- Are too effing tired to do laundry. Or clean toilets
- Broke as a joke
- Wonder what your life's purpose is?
- Are not gaining traction in that business you started
- Are not feeling connected to your spouse or partner
- [Insert your own issue not listed above]
This stuff is all upsetting. But this blog post going
forward is going to challenge where you’re at right now. Take a deep breath,
and keep reading!
Here is a question to ask yourself: “What if everyone in
my life treated me perfectly, I looked perfect every second of every day, and
my house was spotless?”
When phrased like
that, you can see why it’s blown out of proportion…because you are saying that
from your own filter of life. But everyone has their own filter on life and by
wishing upon a perfect life, you are saying that the way you want things is top
priority to all humans and all of life. #NotGonnaHappen
It is a sad day (and today could be that day) when you realize that if you always look to outward sources to be happy, then happiness
will never happen to you. Not 100% of every person, thing, situation is going
to be how you want it. So what shall we focus on to achieve happiness? And is
happiness possible to achieve?
Mental Shift
It is, but it takes a mental shift. This may be news to you,
because we are in a ridiculously busy society. We are on the go, running crazy on social
media, buying “stuff” and filling our houses and thinking about those crazy
love triangles on social media and if your hair looked okay in that one pic to
get enough likes.... It can be such insanity. We all get trapped inside these rat
races. This is where the mental shift comes in.
The key to happiness, to life in fact, really comes from
inside of us. You can tell this is true because no matter where you are on your journey in
life, the outside stuff never satisfies. Who you are inside is very important:
your thoughts, soul, emotions, and spiritual being. All of this makes you very
powerful. So powerful in fact, that you have manifested what is in your life
thus far. If that’s true, then you can work on manifesting new things that you
actually want!
Eyes on the Prize
A good example would be what happens when focusing on
negative drivers. Someone cuts you off, and you get pissed off.
You are fuming. That car has gone on it’s way, and you are still focused on that
angry feeling. What follows is that you start noticing that you missed the
light and you’ll be late, Stupid light! And another car went freaking slow on the freeway, and
that one dude forgot his blinker when switching lanes. Unfortunately, there
were other great drivers out there at that same time, and they were were following the laws,
moving out of your way, using their blinkers, driving cautiously. But did you
notice those cars? Hmmmm? Or did all of the bad stuff happen because that’s what your mind
was focused on?
That is how powerful your mind is. You created a bad driving
experience for yourself. YOU created it. You CREATED it. You created IT.
I hope that is sinking in. I used to really fight against
that ideology that we are powerful enough to created good and bad in the world
that easily. And since it’s true that your negative mindset has the power to create with such force,
think about what would happen if you shifted that into positive thinking? Negative
thoughts are so powerful, BUT kindness, positivism, and love can also be very
infectious in the opposite way.
Tricking Yo Mind
This is the best part of this blog. It’s the “Tricking Yo Mind” practice. This could change your entire life starting today. Here is how
it works!
You start by visualizing and meditating on what you would
LIKE to happen. What do you want to happen with your kids who are little
terrors? What do you want to happen with that cluttery house? What do you want
to happen with that unloving spouse? Etc, etc.
Let’s shift our focus and use one prime example: The "my kids are little terrorists" situation. Yes, thaaaaat’s a good one. Take out a piece
of paper and write attributes of what you would LIKE to see in your kids such as, What
would it look like to have a great day with them? Would they be kind to each
other? Would they listen better? Would they clean up? Be very specific about
what you would love to see happen!
As soon as you do this, post your list somewhere you can see
it. Or you don’t have to, just put it in a tab on your to-do list phone app, or
just record it to memory. There's no right or way to do this as long as it is something you're going to focus on for the long-haul.
Get ready to blow your own mind!! Because here’s how this
whole thing works…
After enough practice focusing on the positive changes you are
looking for in your kids, you will start to NOTICE THE GOOD things they are
doing! At first, you might notice the bad things and how they’re not measuring
up to your list. But keep at it. Your brain is doing some rewiring. It will
start to mostly see the good stuff. You will start praising their good
behavior, and in turn you will start noticing them grow up, mature, and be loving to each other.
Real Change
Now, are they really changing? OR is it YOU who is changing?
I personally believe that
- It starts with you, and you will be the first
one changing.
- They will, in fact, be changing.
Why is it this tactic works for changing them?
It is because even
though it’s your own personal filter on life, you are doing something that the
most influential coaches on earth do, which is that you are coaching your kids to
greatness! A great team would NEVER thrive by a negative coach yelling at them
and pointing out their flaws constantly. A great team thrives and conquers
because they have a coach who BELIEVES in them and sees the good!
Don’t forget that the above scenario was just an example. You can do this
with ANY area of your life. If you want to succeed at that business, inspire
yourself! Focus and trick your mind to believe you’ve already achieved that big
income goal, or that you finally have that best friend you’ve always wanted, or that you have become that beautiful version of yourself that you've always wanted to be on the inside AND outside, etc. Just remember to be specific about who you want to become, not vague. And keep at it! I believe consistency is key. Don’t give up. People give up
way too soon. Keep going. I believe in you!
I’d love to know your thoughts on this blog post:
- What would you like to see happen differently in
your life?
- Do you believe you have the power of changing
your life?
- Do these concepts seem foreign to you, but you
want to change focus and see if it helps you be happier?
- Do you believe you deserve happiness? And that
it’s achievable?
- Do you have any other questions for me? I would
love to help!
One thing to wrap this up and leave you with is my favorite saying that my husband Cory has always told me, and I have adopted it as my life mantra:
"You don't have control over what other people do or what other circumstances happen to you, but you have control over how to respond."
Love,
Jess
