The Meaningful Life

The past few days I have been sulky. I guess that is what naturally happens sometimes when you're pregnant AND chasing around at toddler. It is truly the best of days and hardest of days. To be honest I feel like about 50 percent of the time I am ungrateful and have a bad attitude. This pregnancy has really made me cranky and I miss working out full time, which would help with depression I'm sure. Eli makes it ALL worthwhile though. How did I get blessed with such a great spirit in a kid? He is funny, silly, and yet very nurturing. Very spirited. His spirit makes me realize how valuable everyone is. He makes me love humanity.

Right now Eli loves Veggie Tales. I have to watch it many times a day. I really am starting to loathe Veggie Tales, but then there are times when I really get into it with him and will even cry sometimes because it has such great value to take away from it. Lately the only one I put on for him is the one called The Meaningful Life. I actually really like this one! I will admit also that the past few times it has made me cry. It makes me realize that even though life is mostly made up of mundane moments, millions of them, that our lives do have meaning. Our lives aren't accidents. If you have time, watch the The Meaningful Life by Veggie Tales. It's on Netflix. It's fantastic.

Today I found out that a dear friend of mine from 10 years ago passed away. She was 33 years old and has a daughter who is 3. I didn't know she had a daughter. I did know that she suffered from depression and alcoholism a decade ago, and her obituary made it seem like that had something to do with her passing. I have been in turmoil this evening after learning of her death. Despite her mental health issues, Nora was very lovable. She was kind and giving. She had so much to give the world. I will never know what all she gave the world in the past 10 years. Her spirit was infectious. I wonder what she will be remembered for by others.

It made me think of everyday life and how meaningful it is. It made me realize that instead of being a victim in life, instead of focusing on the negative and the mundane, I need to focus on the little things around me that make life worth living. I need to notice someone in the grocery store who is having a bad day and say a kind word. Maybe even make them my new friend. Every day needs to be a day to make a difference. I want my kids to know that I loved them more than I loved myself. That I loved deeply. That I gave deeply and set down my phone and work aside to love. I want to leave a Love legacy. There is an enemy in the world who wants to destroy love and I think that's the main reason why people get self-consumed and self-destructive. If only we could truly and deeply know that Love Conquers All.

Jess